Self-esteem
The other day I caught myself reflecting on the self-esteem and what stands behind it.
The word itself suggests that it is your own esteem, it is how you are supposed to estimate yourself. Isn’t it ironic that so often the self-esteem is formed throughout the life with the help of others, starting from our own family? And if we are lucky enough it is formed as a strong and good opinion about yourself, when you family loves you for no reason and no matter what. That is pure unconditional love.
Love who you are
However, the love in the family could be demonstrated in various ways and these are not always the healthiest ways. When for example the parents are too strict or too demanding- kids grow to be very demanding of themselves as well and sometimes of others. They set very high standards for themselves and others, which might end up in disappointment because it’s hard to keep up with high standards all the time. Or overprotection could lead to either anxiety or rebellious spirit that wants to break free and willing to do some crazy stuff.
What I’m trying to say is that some people are fortunate enough to grow up knowing they are worthy, they are beautiful and loved.
And others grew up in a different environment. Sometimes they never hear that they are worthy, pretty and in total lack of support and understanding. Because love was either translated to them in a form of strictness or was not there at all.
And it all led to an adult who possesses the low self-esteem, which influences the decisions taken in life. They might date or even get married to a person who is wrong for them in any aspect. They might not even consider some amazing job opportunities because they might think from the start that they can’t make it or they don’t deserve it or the package it comes with. They might be friends with people who do not enlighten them and in the contrary bring them down or who is too hard on them. Think of that and I’m sure you will see such examples around you.
Well, now the question is if anything can be done about it.
People might go on blaming their parents and living the life of complaints and abusive patterns.
However, if that’s the case and a person came to this realisation, I believe that as a rational adult it’s time to take the responsibility for our own lives and stop blaming parents, government and others. It’s time to realise that we are where we are maybe due to the low self-esteem and to the choices we made while not thinking high of ourselves.
As a rational adult if you don’t like where you are, then maybe it’s time to reflect on the situation you find yourself in. If it’s too hard on your own, reach out to specialists and get yourself a partner in thinking. It will help realise that in the adulthood you are in most cases the only one responsible for where you are now. Let’s not be the victims of the circumstances and take the responsibility for our lives. We are the creators of our lives.
It’s high time to put off all the bad nonsense you might think of yourself and realise that you are worthy and amazing just as much as those people who already know that about themselves. It also helps to ask your close circle to write down the list of your qualities that they cherish about you. Believe me, you will be pleasantly surprised. It help to beat the low self esteem and look at yourself objectively. Another suggestion is to do the gratitude list for yourself each night before you go to sleep. Try to find at least 5 things you are grateful for and practice it regularly. At first it might not come too easy but later when you start developing your self esteem, it will be easier to thank yourself and you will start seeing more reasons.
If you ever suffered from low self-esteem, tell us what helped you overcome it.
